![Bearnaise escargot in action.](https://www.jimdrohman.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Escargot-May-2015.jpg)
In Orthez, I took this photo of a local snail making his way across a rain-soaked bench. If I was a more industrious sort, I would have captured this specimen, fed him on organic veggies, and kept him in captivity for a week to allow any toxins to flush out of his system, then simmered him in broth before broiling with garlic butter. I went to lunch instead.